Marcel the Shell, With Shoes On

One of my all-time favorite videos as of November, I thought I'd post the entire dialogue, because the Bon Qui Qui at King Burger post I did this past summer, is, and has been, the number one post viewed so far. So here it is:

My name is Marshell.

Oh nooo. That is not the first time I've done that.

My name's Marcel, and I'm partially a shell as you can see on my body.

But I also have shoes, and, ummm, a face.

So I like that about myself, and I like myself,

And I have a lot other great qualities about myself as well.

I know how it looks in here, but it's not always so messy.

But I didn't know that you were gunna have a camera.

I wish that you had said you were going to be here today,

Because I, I didn't clean up, ugh.

I invited some friends from upstate to eat salad so that's, well this is how it looks right now.

Guess what I wear as a hat...

What?

A lentil.

One time I nibbled on a piece of cheese,

And my cholesterol went up to 900.

Guess what I use to tie my skiis to my car...

What?

A hair.

Guess what my skiis are...

What?

Toenails from a man.

Do you wan, you, you want to see me talk on the phone?

Sure.

*Hellooo. This is me.

What?

Yeah, yeah I did.

Well, I could d..,yes.

What? It would be my pleasure.

Yeah, I did, I did.

Yeah I'm sorry I forgot to write a note.

Thank you so much.*

Guess what I use as a beanbag chair...

What?

A raisin.

Guess what I do for adventure...

What?

I hang-glide on a dorito.

Guess what I use as a pen...

What?

A, a pen, but it takes the whole family.

I'm afraid to drink soda because I'm afraid the bubbles will make me float up onto the ceiling.

Okay, ee, ah,

My one regret in life is that I will never have a dog.

But sometimes I tie a hair to a piece of lint and drag it around.

Gah, I love you, c'mon, me, c'mon, ahhhh-ahh-ahhhhh.

One time I smelled the smell from an old tenis sneaker,

And it knocked me right out.

One time I looked at a diamond and it gave me a sunburn.

His name is Allen. Guess where I found him...

Where?

Under a tooth.

Well, you know what they say...

What?

A lint is a shell's bestfriend.

Do you want to see me try to lift this?

Sure.

Okay. umph. ehhh-ehh-ehhhhh-ehhh eh oh,

No, I can't, I can't, I can't lift anything up at all.

Sometimes people say that my head is too big for my body,

And then I say, "COMPARED TO WHAT?!"

Brother once got in a fight with someone else and guess how he killed him...

How?

He impaled him on a brush.

Sounds very violent.

We won't fight unless we're provoked.

Uh, c'mere, c'm errrrr, c'mmm, c'meeeerrrrre, I love you, come, ahh.

THE END

*Bolded things are personal favorites*

To watch the actual video go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF9-sEbqDvU